Drunk

My dreams end with my baby swinging above the deep ocean of feelings I have kept for you, solely. Your face buried in the soft pillow of my chest seems to express all the love in the World and it makes it hard to keep my hands away from your jawline. Every inch of skin I touch burns with the heat of last night, yet my heart doesn`t race with adrenaline but stays calm and peaceful, full of content.

A small pout blossoms on your lips and leaves the trace of the former smile on my mind to rewind again and again, until I can`t take it anymore and move further close and map each line of your mouth with shaky fingers. 

So many hard times when the absence of you brought tears and a sharp pain in my throat were now long forgotten in the sweet embrace of your being, so many lonely nights sick with the hunger for your caress were replaced with a soul that matched mine perfectly. 

You offered me a deathless death beside you, Heaven on Earth but why am I afraid of this Paradise astray ways of destroying me slowly? Such a devastating love shouldn`t exist. So powerful and endeavoring, so beautiful and far.

You slowly open your eyes and grab the side of my right hip in search for balance and contact. A plumb face and sleepy hands greet my morning, making me smile. The clothes thrown away on the floor make you remember that the room is cold now and lay again beside me in silence.

*Good morning, beautiful.* The rusty voice makes me shiver. I want to kiss those lips that only seconds ago made my mind wander off, but I contain the strong urge. Instead, I twist my body in your arms and burrow my neck in your collarbones, nibbling my way to your neck.

*Good morning, little shy sheep.*

*Good morning, beautiful.* 

I can`t bring myself on the verge of the day, sleep slowly drifting me away from your stable figure waking out of the bed and looking for the cigarettes which I`ve hidden the day before. Not on the table, not thrown on the small couch at the foot of the bed, not even laying lazily on the floor, I hid them in my mind yet you don`t give up. I can feel your weight closing the gap between us and with no warning soft lips pressing the back of my neck. There is no escape, your sweet embrace makes the last of my stubbornness go to vain. With eyes still closed, I get one lonely cigarette out of the purse forgotten under the chair and a lighter with floral pattern. You grab them hungrily, leaving a last wet mark on my shoulder and leave a cold sheet to keep me company.

The seat by the window is already kept well for this routine. Lower yourself in the chair and start puffing black skies out of your lungs. I love how your body shapes after the light and how the light shapes after your body. Heavy smoke begins rising and the familiar smell surrounds me like a caress. I`ve gotten used to this, it became a peculiar obsession to watch you every morning. One day without our accustomed traits can never be right.